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Funny Text Messages

They dropped your name, can you pick it up?
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I was trying to daydream, but my mind kept wandering.
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Love me or leave me. Hey, where is everybody going?
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Nice perfume... but do you really need to marinate in it?
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I once sniffed Coke, but the ice cubes blocked my nostrils.
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You should know what it takes to look this cheap!
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Roses are red, violets are blue, Frankenstein is ugly but what the hell happened to you?
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When I was a dog, and you were a flower, I walked over you and gave you a shower!!
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Be nice to the ones who smoke...every cigarette might be their last.
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Hello, this is GOD. I made a few bad creations but you are the worst monster I ever realized. My apologies on behalf of the whole world.
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I know why I am single; my parents-in-law were not able to have kids.
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You used to be so ugly that your mother had to tie a steak around your neck, otherwise even the dog would not play with you.
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Hello I am a virus and I am entering your brain right now... sorry I will leave. I can't find a brain.
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This cat, is cat, a cat, good cat, way cat, to cat, keep cat, an cat, idiot cat, busy cat, for cat, 20 cat, seconds 
cat! Now read it all without the word cat!
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God created the earth, God created the woods, God created you too, but yes, even God makes mistakes!
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How would you like your egg for breakfast.... hard-boiled or impregnated?

I wanted to send u something nice that would make u smile but the postman told me to get out of the mailbox!
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This message was sent exclusively for the handsome and the beautiful. We have obviously sent it to the wrong number. We are truly sorry for the inconvenience.
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Opticians bend your rims/frames of your glasses for they are too polite to say that your ears are in the wrong place.
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A girl phoned me the other day and said..."Come on over, there's nobody home." I went over. Nobody was home.

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